The most dreadful time of the year is upon us. November, December, January and February are months have the great Indian wedding in almost every family. While it’s supposed to be the most happiest day for the bride and groom, others who gather around to celebrate the holy matrimony of two individuals who may or amy not know each other by now, for them it’s a huge pressure. Dressing up, looking all dope, not letting anyone know how they can’t afford to pay the electricity bill, all of this comes under the pressures of being a part of someone’s wedding.
It’s not easy being you. Your duur ki mami knows that you’re working at a multinational company abroad, but in reality you’re still unemployed. You gave into the pressures of relatives and lied to them because you can’t make mom look bad in all family gatherings. Now you’ve got to work hard towards making everyone believe that it’s true. You should start preparing two months prior to the wedding. Work on your accent, since after living in videsh for more than 6 months, the Hindi you’ve been learning since childhood goes for a toss. If you’re not speaking in an American accent, even if you’re not fake working at The United States, you’re not believable.
You might be broke as hell, but your clothes should always be according the liking of princes and princesses. You cannot afford to look like a pauper at your cousin’s wedding, in no time you’ll be treated like one. And not just the wedding, the entire duration you’re going to stay there, your should be dressed like you’re about to walk the red carpet. Sangeet, Haldi, Shaadi and Reception, you need to look a unicorn just threw up on you. Take loans, break fixed deposits, clear your accounts or lend money from a friend. Or just don’t go.
Who can explain to these relatives that pizza tastes far better than oats? Who can make them understand that we try our best to lose a little weight every time, but someone walks in with fries and then it becomes hard? Every wedding is just a group discussion of how fat someone looks. If you’re one of those people who have no troubles in losing weight, then you should start with the process as soon as possible. For those people who cannot lose weight because of zero self-control, don’t worry, there’s hope. Every time some rishtedaar tries to approach, walk right away and don’t make eye contact if they still have the audacity to approach you, smack them right in the face. That’s how you deal with fat-shaming relatives.
Lastly, brush up your dance moves because even if you don’t want to shake your booty, you’ll have to. You’ll be forced into dancing at the baarat and sangeet, and now that you have come to celebrate the biggest day of your cousin’s life, you might as well enjoy to the fullest.
Happy Wedding Season Ya’ll!