Nobody likes everyone. They’re either just very good at pretending or an imaginary person who exists in a parallel universe. Even if you have a million friends, they’ll always be this one person you despise all the time. Everything about them makes you want to puke but you cannot express your hatred because, well, society. So how exactly are you going to watch them take breaths and exists? Here’s a guide on how to deal with people you dislike –
1. Every time you see them, make sure you are wearing sunglasses so there’s no eye contact. You wouldn’t be obligated to make small talk with them.
2. Tell you best friend to be prepared for a weekly session of bitching about the person you don’t like. Letting it out with someone helps.
3. Don’t let them know you dislike them. That way they’ll still be talking to you and you can find more annoying things about them.
4. Secretly gang up your side so that you know when there’s a showdown between you and them, who will be on your side.
5. Notice how they take their coffee/tea. When they’re not looking, add more sugar to it so that they run to get a refill and stay out of sight.
6. Make a list of the pros and cons about their general behaviour. Figure out which side has more points and still don’t give up the hate.
7. You should know that for you to hate someone, you need to be more intelligent than them. Every time they say something stupid, hit back with intelligence.
8. Find out their worst fears and bring them to life on Halloween. That way, they will stay away from you the whole day.
9. Find a flaw in them every time they walk into the room so that they spend less time talking and more time in dealing with the flaw.
10. Make them their favourite meal but burnt and stand there until they’ve it all. This will ruin their favourite food for them.
11. Spark up a witty conversation with them in front of everyone and watch them fail miserably at keeping it up. Everyone will know they’re stupid.
12. Every time they say how much they love something, make up stories about how that thing sucks and they’re basically crazy to like it.
13. When you see them, smile like a total psychopath so that they’re creeped out be you and spend their whole time avoiding you.
Or you could just #SpreadTheLove