1. Awkward Meet and Greet
So a house party usually begins at 7 pm. But as you know, your friends are lazy and stupid as hell, so they never turn up on time. Also, there’s a lot of things that has to be collected. Someone is responsible for the food, others for booze and the useless others for music. They could have started collecting all this in the morning only, but as we’ve established before, they’re lazy and stupid as hell. They start gathering everything at 8, and hence, they’re late. The party that was supposed to start at 7, begins at 9:30. Everyone enters the host’s house, and there’s an awkward environment for at least 15 minutes. Everybody is just sitting there like they don’t know each other, smiling and looking like idiots. Meet and Greet stage isn’t much of a pain at an all boys house party. They just rush in and start with their stupidity. Hooligans, really!
2. Small talks
The Meet and Greet stage is then followed by a Small Talk stage. You know what it it. People just start asking about each other’s life as to what’s going on with them, when in reality, they don’t care. Nobody wants to know if you’ve cleared the CA exam, or you’ve started working, or you’re taking up photography as a career now. People come to a house party to get away from their miserable life for a few hours, they don’t want to know how awesome your life is. Now they may ask you what’s up with you, but that is really a code for “where’s the booze?”, “where’s the food?” and “let’s dance like crazy!” Good friends could avoid the stage and directly start with the drinking after meet and greet. But at a house party with people you haven’t met in a long while, this stage could last up to hours. Make sure you have vodka with you.
3. Round of Shots
Yeah, now we’re getting to the important part. Shots! Shots! Shots! This is what everyone had been wanting to do since entering but the etiquette stopped them from doing so. Some life saver friend in between small talks suggests the idea of doing shots and you couldn’t be more happy. This friend has his priorities set right. He ain’t here for anything else but drinking. God bless his soul! This stage is divided into two – The Shy Stage, wherein people just take one shot and sit back. They want that other shot, they’re here for that other shot, but since nobody else is taking them, they just sit back. The other stage is Motivational Friend – that one friend who asks for another shot and everyone else, motivated by his act for honesty, reaches out for that other shot. Don’t be shy people, nobody is going to judge you. And even if they do, would you care after being drunk?
4. Never have I ever
Whoever invented this game was a huge gossip king/queen. He/She just wanted to know stuff about other’s life, hence, the game. And people blindly follow the ritual of playing this game. It goes like you suggest something you have never done, and that something can be as indecent as possible. The people who have done it will take a shot, while the others will not. Yes Bollywood buffs, Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani game. However, there are three categories in reality. First is Bunny, someone who has done it all and will take a shot every time someone suggests something. Second, there’s Naina who hasn’t done anything and will slowly start losing interest in the game. And lastly, there’s Mr. Boastful who hasn’t done shit, but just to show everyone how cool he is, will take shots at everything. How to identify Mr. Boastful? The one who gives the details of his encounter is faking it.
5. Dancing
After everyone gets tired of Mr. Boastful and his heroic deeds, someone suggests dancing. Initially, dancing at a house party is similar to dancing at a club. There are stages of dancing at every house party that is common everywhere. In the beginning, the moves are smooth, everybody’s limbs are intact and not over the place, and the music is all EDM. People are warming up and the atmosphere is pleasant. Gradually, people start singing the lyrics along and slight head banging on the drums. All this is done while regularly indulging in alcohol. Head banging turns into thinking of yourself as a guitarist, and they start playing air guitar. The lights, the music, the alcohol, all starts contributing towards making people tipsy. And when they’re high enough, Aey Ganpat Baja Na!
6. Humans to Monkeys
And all hell breaks lose! People who were humming “Lovers on the sun” 15 minutes ago have a drastic shift to Saat Samundar Paar. Not only does the music change, the dance changes too. You may know salsa professionally, but bro, when Saat Samundar Paar is being played, you shift to Ganpati dance automatically. This is the point in a house party where everyone has lost it, nobody is sober to understand what is going on, but they’re not going to stop. With that kind of music playing, they’re not going to call it a night anytime soon. This is where most of the booze and food starts vanishing. That dancing makes people feel dehydrated and hungry, and they start hogging and drinking indefinitely. This continues to about 4 am in the morning, and the mandatory must play song here is Chaar Baj Gaye Lekin Party Abhi Baaki Hai. Quite literally!
7. Party abhi baaki hai!
Lo Behold! Here begins the drama. Nobody can sleep, people are shit drunk to realize they’re sitting on someone’s lap and someone forgot to turns the music off. There’s no energy left, but the hands keep moving in rhythm with the song. By now, all the alcohol is done with and food is over, but everyone is still dehydrated and hungry. Everyone tries to sleep but they cannot because some drunk friend just won’t shut up. All kinds of things are witnessed during this time. You know who has the most fun here? The friend who doesn’t drink. They’re just here for breezers. They see you doing all kinds of weird things, take ugly photos of you, take videos of you crying over your ex, encourage you to drunk text someone and feed you with more alcohol. For them, the real party begins now!
Hungover stage begins!
