That’s right, Monday is back. It’s back to haunt all of us, followed by four other days of pure torture. Seriously, who even made the concept of earning your living? Why can’t we just chill inside the caves like the old times? If only there was a time machine! We would go back and change the way this whole world works. Monday means loads of work we would skip if there was an option, see faces we would punch if that was acceptable and be part of conference calls. No matter how many different “agendas” are being discussed over these calls, every conference call in the world is the same. This is how all of them go –
1. Awkward IT encounter
For every conference call to begin, there is an awkward IT encounter everyone must go through. You know how it goes. A guy from IT enters the room to help with all the technicalities. It’s awkward because he’s doing his job right there but the rest of you have no clue about what to do. It’s just plain awkward.
On the other end of the conference call is someone you have probably never met. This person, however, is to be respected as they are a god. The call begins with a long list of names that they probably won’t remember after seconds of being told. These introductions are useless. Wish we could just cut to the chase.
3. Stepping on points
The very purpose of a conference call is to clarify points that were completely misunderstood in the mail. The call is organized to make sure everyone involved understands them properly. But the problem is, whatever points are established gets stepped on by someone else until the whole thing makes zero sense.
4. Lots of yes’s
Although nothing is making sense to anyone, you’ll be hearing a lot of yes’s around. Nobody knows what the person on the other side is referring to, nobody knows what they mean themselves, but they are all going to nod. The louder the yes is, the more that person has not understood a thing. That’s how it works.
5. Collective goodbyes
After all this trouble for absolutely nothing, it’s time to say the goodbyes and get back to your desk. If the conference call did anything but confuse you more, you are lying. The goodbyes are just as awkward as the introductions as everyone is trying hard to remember each other’s names. Just cut the call already!
Hang in there guys!