Signs That You Have Psychotic Friends

Signs That You Have Psychotic Friends

It’s hard to find people you can gel well with. You’re either too picky or most of the people are generally stupid. When you really like hanging out with someone, you get astonished too because finding friends has always been difficult for you. It is when you get to know them, you realize they need to get a shrink. But then again, who doesn’t? Following are the signs that you have psychotic friends –

1. You never really remember a time when all of you were together and nothing happened. It’s always been some story that you will remember till the end of time.
2. They may say how much they hate you, but in the very next moment they would do something so sweet that would make you wonder if they’re suffering from bipolar disorder.
3. Never has a birthday celebration gone without some insane cake fight and glass breaking which is not regretted by anyone at all. They love to create a ruckus everywhere.
4. Whenever you tell them about this cute guy/girl you like, they turn into FBI agents finding every tiny information about the crush and keep you updated on their whereabouts.
5. They always invite you for one drink, promising how it’s going to be a low key thing. But the next day when you wake up naked on a horse in the middle of a forest, you really don’t remember what happened.
6. Every time you go out with them, they keep forcing you to drink more and more. You wonder if they’re just like this way or they are hell bent of watching you die.
7. The moment you feel they’re being really nice to you and you should just tell them how much you love them, they switch back to Regina George making you want to punch them in the face.
8. When you tell them how awesome your new friend is and how you have so much fun with him/her, they immediately start behaving like the husband/wife you never married.
9. Sometimes, they don’t text you for months, not even asking if you’re alive. Sometimes, they show up at 3 am at your house to take you on a road trip. They’re moody af.
10. They keep threatening you about how they’re never going to speak to you. But as soon as you cut the call, they hit you up with a “what you doing” with an emoji.
11. They’re parents are not actors but they can pull off some amazing acting skills without any experience. You’ve seen their live performances on many occasions.
12. In front of your parents, they act like priests who do not belong in the 21st century. Your parents buy their bullshit, asking you to be more like them. But you know what’s it like to be them.
13. Sometimes they turn into pathological liars in order to work a plan out. They have all these lies ready instantly making you wonder if anything is true about them at all.
14. When you break up with your ex, they always feel that your real closure would be murdering the ex and burying the body. It’s surprising how they plan out the details of the crime.
15. On your face they will call you all sorts of names but to others, they will always have beautiful things to say about you. This multiple personality behaviour you don’t really understand.

But, homies be homies.

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One thought on “Signs That You Have Psychotic Friends

  1. Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Many thanks

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